I’ve just finished reading some books on Emotional Intelligence. When I get into a topic I tend to deep dive by reading a few different things rather than skimming the topic. If you are interested, a couple of the books I’ve read are Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ and Emotional Intelligence.
Anyway, reading the books helped me think about this blog and I’ve decided to do a series of posts in the “Music as a soundtrack for leadership” theme on Emotional Intelligence.
So, here’s post No.1…..
When did you last make a mistake? Did you dwell on it? What did you learn from it? Did it stop you pushing for the edge the next time you tried something.
For most people the answers to these questions are – Can’t remember, Yes, Nothing & Yes.
For those with a strong sense of emotional intelligence the answers are very different…..
Emotionally intelligent people make mistakes but they let go of a mistake without forgetting it. They use this memory to adapt and learn without dwelling on it. They don’t let it stop them trying to stretch themselves in the future.
This is a fine line to tread – balancing the memory of how you felt when you failed and using it to spur you on without letting it hold you back. It is easy to get bogged down in the mistake or to run so far from it that you don’t take anything positive away.
With this in mind, here’s my 3 step formula to help you let it be…..
1. Accept. By not accepting the mistake you will burn so much energy going back over the decisions you made and what other things you could have done. Well guess what, none of it matters now. Don’t be flippant but accept it and move on.
2. Use a journal to write down your thoughts. It helps to clarify any situation and gives you a record to go back to in the future should you need to remember what you did, why you did it and what you could do differently.
3. Challenge yourself. Nobody likes to be seen as making mistakes, it singles you out, it can make you open for criticism but very few breakthroughs were made without a whole stack of mistakes first. Fail faster – the sooner you make your mistakes the sooner you get to deliver success.
So, be a leader and let it be, let it be, let it be…..