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I’ve just finished reading some books on Emotional Intelligence.  When I get into a topic I tend to deep dive by reading a few different things rather than skimming the topic. If you are interested, a couple of the books I’ve read are Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ and Emotional Intelligence.

Anyway, reading the books helped me think about this blog and I’ve decided to do a series of posts in the “Music as a soundtrack for leadership” theme on Emotional Intelligence.

So, here’s post No.5…..you can find other posts in the series by typing Emotional Intelligence into the search bar.

There’s a Mark Twain quote that I absolutely love that says, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

How many times do we play scenarios over and over in our heads and focus on the negative elements that have either happened or worse still could happen? Emotionally intelligent people recognise that their thoughts and the facts are different and use this to avoid falling into a negative cycle.

Your self-talk has been created through years of social conditioning and peer pressure which usually results in people not thinking they are good enough or smart enough to achieve what they want to. The sad thing is by believing their self-talk, they usually take the actions that cause those negative results which affirms their initial thinking.

So what can we do about it?

First, practice positive self-talk by remembering one key rule – don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. Recognise the ‘Beliefs-Actions-Results’ cycle and tackle it at source by re-framing your thoughts in a positive way.

Second, use social conditioning in a positive way by surrounding yourself with optimistic people whilst ignoring the cynics. I am firm believer that your life will become a lot like the people you spend most of your time with, so spend your time wisely with people who are progressive and focussing on possibilities not negatives.

Finally, as I talked about in an earlier post change your mood by smiling. Use the chemicals that are created by smiling to re-inforce your positive self-talk.

So, if you want to do more than get by, talk to yourself and make it easier…..