My son is approaching his teenage years and in wanting to be the best person I can, I was interested in a book recommended on Seth Godin’s blog called “He’s Not Lazy” by Dr. Adam Price.
There are lots of interesting points in the book about the way teenage boys physically, mentally and emotionally develop. There are also plenty of tips on how to best help them feel like they have the confidence and capacity to succeed. One tip in particular intrigued me and made me think about how I could use in other situations too….
The book talks about how it is tempting to make all the decisions but if you want to encourage others to take control, your go-to question needs to be, “what’s your plan?”
If you take responsibility for their decisions, others will never learn how to take ownership for the consequences of their actions. Worse, when striving for control, some will actively undermine what is forced upon them.
You might think that you know best but in the long term there is huge benefit from asking people to make their own plans and learn from what happens next.